The thought of using a vibrator on your own can be fun and exciting—but what about adding a partner into the mix? Things can seem a bit more complicated, and this is where questions arise. How do I not make this awkward? Where does one thing start and the other end? How do I introduce my sex toys to my partner? To answer these common questions and more, read on for our tips on how to use sex toys with a partner!
-
Start by asking. The first step in using toys is making sure everyone’s on board. And be aware it’s possible for partners to become defensive in these situations—merely bringing the subject up could lead them to feel like they’re not adequate. You can address this by not making the conversation about you, but by making it about both of you so that they don’t feel isolated. Just be open and honest about why it turns you on.
-
Shop together. This is a great time to go over what types of things you both like and dislike, and can make for a great bonding experience! It builds anticipation while helping you learn more about your partner’s sexual preferences and desires. Whether it’s a couple-specific kit, a plug-in vibrator, a c-ring, or one with a shaft, whatever type of toy you choose, make sure it’s body-safe—and don’t forget the water-based lube!
-
Use them anywhere. And yes, any room will do—but also anywhere on the body. Using toys on places other than the genitals (thighs, nipples, or immediatey next to the genitals) is a great way to start out, building excitement while getting used to the sensations, and can be a source of fun throughout the experience!
-
Focus on your partner. Verbal encouragement (aka “dirty talk”) helps with this! Don’t be afraid to tell them how turned on you are by their body and private parts, too—this should still be about you two, not about the toy. Make the toy a part of your bonding, while still doing just that—bonding first and foremost!
-
Stimulate yourself. It can be a huge turn-on to see one’s partner stimulated, so don’t be afraid to try it out on your own too! You can also stimulate during penetration to really heat things up—this is easily done in a spooning, doggie-style, or cowgirl position.
-
Tease your partner. Edging, or getting yourself or someone close to an orgasm and stopping just before, can be some of the most fun had in the bedroom with sex toys, and can make the real orgasm even more powerful when it finally comes. The act of teasing can only be done with others and thus makes a great way to connect as a couple.
So you see, couples’ vibrators and sharing sex toys can seem intimidating, but with the right approach, they can really intensify and enhance things in the bedroom.